“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
We are often unconscious of our emotions and how they impact others. We may be on a mission to achieve great things, but what good is it if we are leaving a wake of destruction behind us.
Being a leader is more than external success. What about within?
I worked in many organisations where leaders can be bold, charismatic, and profess to be doing great things. On the one hand, success is impressive, but if you look closely, you can often see cracks starting to form. Lack of respect, not listening to people, gossip behind backs, throwing another under a bus to save face.
While thinking back on Maya Angelou’s words above, it reigns true. I can’t remember much of what those leaders said, or what we did, but I viscerally remember how I felt. I can still feel those horrible feelings while reflecting on those negative experiences.
The opposite is also true. While reflecting on the positive experiences, I still feel that warm fuzzy feeling, long after the event happened.
By becoming more aware of how we impact others feelings, we can start to do better. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else. I feel this quality has somewhat gone missing or is underused in today’s society.
Leaders can walk into a room and instantly set the tone and mood of that room – positive or negative. We can all be leaders in this sense. We don’t have to be the boss to make an impression on others. Could we put our agendas aside for a moment and be conscious of our impacts? How are our actions impacting the rest of the room? Are we spreading more positive or negative emotions?
It doesn’t have to be hard either. One simple gesture that comes to mind for me was a thankyou note from a leader at the right time. I had been working above and beyond during a tough period, and it felt great to receive some recognition for my effort. These little things go a long way towards building a sense of positivity that hangs around long after the moment has gone.
How will the other people feel about us after we have left the room?
Reflection
- How can I be more empathetic in my daily interactions?
- In today’s meetings, I am going to lead with a positive mood and tone.