Read time: 4 minutes

#93 – 23 Feb 2024

Welcome!

I’ve been coaching leaders for over 3 years now. 

What an incredible journey it has been so far. Nothing is more rewarding than helping others grow into their potential and realise their ambitious goals. 

And it’s always so inspiring as everyone’s journey is unique and non-linear, whether they are corporate professionals, entrepreneurs, or creators. Just last week, I felt goosebumps rise on my skin as someone told me their big dream for the first time. 

I love the idea of my success being the success of others. 

And so, I’ve been in a reflective mode this week as I plan my next chapter. Rich Litvin (who’s become a “virtual mentor” on coaching for me) challenged me with this statement:

“Stop looking for clients who you can inspire.

Filter for clients who inspire you.

It will change everything.”

I want to double down on attracting those clients who inspire me. But where to start?

I asked myself:

What are the common threads I have noticed in coaching clients?

And then I thought:

Wait, let’s step it up:

What about the common threads of high-performing clients?

See, high performers are inspiring to me.  But not the armoured up “grind at all costs” type who are self-centred and tear through organisations like bulldozers in the name of “success”. 

No, I’m inspired by the “quiet leader” type, who is authentic, compassionate, creative, curious, emotionally intelligent, fuelled by massive purpose and deeply reflective. They courageously embrace vulnerability, find ways to stay grounded and have balance. 

I ended up making two lists—one for common themes and one for common challenges.

As you read, I invite you to reflect on your own situation with yourself, your relationships, and your work.

Here goes:

Here are 10 common themes I see in high-performers:

1. Despite your success, you know deep down that much more is possible. It’s an infinite game for you. 

2. You feel bored when the challenge dries up. So you seek out the next one.

3. You are not happy if you aren’t growing. You have a never-ending thirst to learn. You invest in yourself.

4. People compliment you on how wonderful you are. But secretly, you doubt yourself. This pushes you to be better.

5. You are oblivious to what comes effortlessly and easily. It just feels normal to you. You have “hidden” strengths. They give you superpowers.

6. You’re not afraid of difficult conversations. You understand their necessity. 

7. You love being surrounded by other high-performers. They inspire you and lift you up.

8. You prioritise action over dreaming. You don’t sit back. You make things happen.

9. You seek deeper meaning over fleeting happiness. The most meaningful things in life are often coupled with great struggle. But meaningful struggle.

10. You manage your energy. Work-life balance is important. You can’t perform at your peak if you are burned out and exhausted. 

Now, on the flip side, here are 10 common challenges I see with high performers:

1. What got you here won’t get you there. Often, the thing that made you successful up to this point becomes your biggest roadblock moving forward.

2. You like to do it all yourself. Needing help feels like you’ve let the team down. This can lead to burnout from taking on too much and resentment toward others who don’t work so hard. Reframe help as “helpful”.

3. You don’t have clear boundaries for work-life balance. You throw yourself into work problems but often overlook those personal problems, which can grow into great monsters. What good is all the business success if you lose your family along the way?

4. You are a perfectionist. You have impeccable high standards, which is excellent for quality products and service. But sometimes, this high bar is unrealistic or unachievable. It comes at a cost, physically, mentally and emotionally. 

5. Because things come so naturally to you in your domain, you sometimes feel lazy as it’s “too easy”. This can cause you to give up on a good thing, but later regret it.

6. You love action and sometimes frown upon “downtime”. But this also leads to burning out and a dip in performance. What if “downtime” is just as important as work time?

7. You dream big and want to tackle the world’s problems. But this can lead to undertaking too many projects, wild goose chases, and confusing your team or audience.

8. You aren’t “lonely” but often feel alone on your journey. You’re the boss. And that can be lonely… Who can you talk to openly? Who are your confidants? 

9. You have a hidden secret, something you would LOVE to be doing. But you’re afraid to take the leap because of what other people might think. You feel trapped because of your success. It eats away at your soul.

10. You can get sucked into chasing short-term wins at the expense of long-term success. Because you can achieve so much, it’s tempting to try and do it all now. But this does NOT feel “right”. You know it’s not sustainable and could lead to future problems. 

That’s it!

Is there anything else you would add?

Which ones resonate for you?

Would you like some help on any of them?

Cheers,

Matt 

P.S. 

I love this paragraph Ryan Holiday shared this week:

“I was working full time at American Apparel but planning my next move, saving my money and thinking about writing a book.

Over lunch one day, Robert Greene told me, Ryan, while people wait for the right moment, there are two types of time :

Dead time—where they are passive and biding and Alive time—where they are learning and acting and getting the most out of every second.

Which will this be for you?”

Are you in “Dead time” or “Alive time” in this season of your life?