“It’s important to know in advance, to make sure you’re staying focused on what’s honestly important to you.”

Derek Sivers

I was out for breakfast this morning with my wife. The service was taking a long time even though the place did not appear to be busy. We waited to order. The coffee wasn’t too long, but then the food seemed to take forever.

I began feeling a little impatient. I had things I had planned to do – more work and tasks to check off, even though it was the weekend and I should probably be relaxing. This “quick” breakfast was going to wipe out the whole productive morning.

My wife noticed my anxious tone and asked: “what is your goal for this morning? Is it to have a nice breakfast and good conversation? Or sit here irritably and then rush off to work?”.

Hmmm, this got me thinking. How do you measure experiences? What was I hoping to achieve here? We were in a pleasant setting, enjoying a lovely morning, but my mind was rushing off to the next thing. I wasn’t present. 

We all have different measures. I was grading the breakfast by how quickly I could get in and out so that I could get to work. At the same time, my wife was grading the breakfast of the quality of the conversation and food experience.

At that moment, I realised we need to be more mindful of how we measure our experiences, as it impacts the quality of that experience. Because I was looking for a quick turnaround, I was missing out on the beauty right in front of me. It was the weekend, and the work wasn’t that important anyway. It was just an unconscious habit getting in the way of me stopping to smell the roses and have a good time.

It’s crucial to know what is most important upfront, so we don’t waste the present opportunity right in front of us.

Reflection

• Today I will try to be mindful of the unconscious measures I am using and their impacts of the quality of my experiences.