“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.”

Marcus Aurelius

The great stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius prepared his mind daily for what he was about to face. This is so that it became no shock to him when he met difficult and dishonest people. It freed him up mentally so that he could get on with his job as the Roman emperor.

How much energy do we waste on negative people?

We get caught off guard and it derails us. We get stuck in destructive thought loops. We feed them. The negativity rubs off on us and starts to wear us down. Often before the day has really begun. 

Surely this is getting in the way of producing our best work. Our minds are preoccupied with the inner dialogues of people who have wronged us.

Break the cycle. Why not try Marcus’ advice and prepare ourselves for what we are going to face. Expect difficult people, and that’s ok. Focus on what really matters – doing great work.

Marcus continues: 

“They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognised that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own – not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.”

He recognises that the “evil” we see in others is also a part of us and our actions. It’s all perspective. What we see as a win for us may be a loss for someone else. We have all inadvertently wronged someone at some point in our lives. It doesn’t make us bad people. It’s just part of being human. We all make mistakes, and that’s ok. Often that’s where learning and growth happens.

After considering the nature of good and evil in all of us, it makes sense to come to others with a sense of compassion. That person who did you wrong could actually be having a bad day themselves. Maybe something terrible happened in their family, or perhaps they are struggling in their job. 

Maybe their ungrateful behaviour has nothing to do with you.

We like to make things about ourselves. But what about extending the olive branch to see how we can be of service?

Leading from a place of introspection and service is powerful. Marcus Aurelius is remembered as the last of the “Five Good Emperors” of the Roman Empire. 

Reflection

• When I wake up in the morning, I will prepare myself mentally for what is to come.
  
• I will not be shocked or thrown off when I encounter difficult people.
  
• I will respond from a place of compassion and service.