Welcome to “The Looking Glass”, a weekly newsletter journey of personal growth into mindset, meaning and mastery in work.
#30 – 18 Nov 2022
Hello friend,
Thanks again for being here!
Here’s an insight, a question, and a quote I reflected on over the last week.
💡 Don’t break the chain
Issue number 30 of The Looking Glass. Wow, I can’t believe I have been going for 30 weeks! That is pretty cool, as I could have easily not done this.
I have to admit; it was uninspiring those first few weeks, spending a few hours writing a newsletter to no one.
I’m amazed how it becomes a great motivator once you get on a roll.
You’ve probably heard the story of Jerry Seinfeld maintaining consistency by simply drawing an “X” on a calendar each day he wrote.
James Clear summarises it well in his article, and here’s a quote from a young comedian who sought advice from Seinfeld:
He said the way to be a better comic was to create better jokes and the way to create better jokes was to write every day.
He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker. He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day.
“After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job is to not break the chain.”
Today’s insight is to “not break the chain”.
Whatever your chain is, don’t break it.
Mine is this newsletter.
I can tell you first-hand that once you get on that roll, you don’t want to break it. I’m not using Jerry’s calendar system, but I’ll know if I miss my weekly deadline.
It initially seems hard, and you may slip up a few times. I know I did in the early weeks of my newsletter.
But over time, you will see massive improvements in your quality of work.
“Mastery follows consistency,” as James Clear says.
So whatever big lofty goal you are currently working on, ensure you consistently check off those small daily actions on your path to mastery.
Don’t break the chain!
❔All great work comes with suffering
Nat Eliason recently captured my attention with his newsletter, “You’re Not Struggling Alone”:
If you have anyone you envy, look up to, or aspire towards, don’t fall into the trap of thinking they have it all figured out. That they’re completely happy with their work. That they think they’re good. They’re struggling with the same thoughts you are. Maybe they’re even more tortured by it. There’s always some bigger fish to compare yourself with.
It only ends when you get complacent and stop pushing yourself. The longer you can endure, the better you’ll get. Enduring sucks. It’s not fun. But it helps to remember you’re not struggling alone.
Now I’m usually pretty good at not comparing myself to others negatively. But I had a low point this week after a few things went wrong, then I ended up on social media, and before I knew it, I was comparing a few things around how much further behind I was than others.
This is toxic. It doesn’t feel good, and it leads to more negative patterns.
So Nat’s newsletter hit me at the perfect time – “don’t fall into the trap of thinking they have it all figured out. They’re struggling with the same thoughts you are.”
And that is so true.
Every time I have engaged with someone a few steps ahead of me, I get wind of some of the battles they are facing. We are all facing struggles. But they are a necessary part of the journey.
Even this week, Neil Pasricha shared in his newsletter:
I’m having a hard week. An overwhelming week. An in-over-my-head week!
“What do you mean, Neil? I thought you were Captain Awesome? Aren’t you always happy?”
And to that my wife Leslie is like…
(Here, he inserted a meme of a woman laughing uncontrollably)
From the outside, Neil looks super-successful with a great outlook on life. He’s a New York Times bestselling author who wrote The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome. It sounds like Neil has it all figured out from a wellbeing point of view. But he was having a week from hell, and life was getting the better of him.
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about.
But part of becoming a master is overcoming these battles and shipping your work.
Ryan Holiday says, “the obstacle is the way”.
Maybe the obstacles you currently face are the key to your life’s work.
Who knows?
Well, you won’t know unless you face up to them.
And it starts by embracing the suck.
How can you better embrace the necessary suffering along your path to greatness?
For example, I know I need to complain to my wife less.
Bonus:
Neil Pasricha recommended these three saviours to get through the hellish suffering:
- Go on a 3-hour walk.
- Call someone who loves you.
- Play “Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud”, a shared gratitude exercise in the evening with your loved ones:
– Each person says a Rose – something that went well
– Then another Rose
– Then share a Thorn – what you have battled with
– Then share a Bud – Something you’re looking forward too
💬 A quote to ponder
– On the blessing, you didn’t know you needed
My mother always used to say a blessing is not just wishing something well for someone. A blessing is wishing something for someone that they didn’t even know they needed themselves.
David Whyte
A virtual mentor
David Whyte is undoubtedly a blessing I didn’t know I needed. A random discovery who has become a major inspiration for me in this newsletter – particularly his themes around longing for meaningful work and realising our creative potential.
I have previously recommended you find your own virtual mentors, go deep on their content and channel their force into your work
Who is a virtual mentor that you consider a blessing in your life?
📣 What happened this week
In this section, I share something actionable that I learnt or implemented in the last week. I’m currently exploring online one-person businesses.
The offer stack
Do you have an offer stack?
I hadn’t thought about this much until I heard Jose Rosado talk about it during the week. Now cognisant, I can see this is everywhere in online business.
Jose outlined the following as an offer stack:
- Freebies
- Leading Offers
- Hero Offers
Freebies are, you guessed it, free! Something like this newsletter. Which, although free, actually takes a decent amount of work. But a newsletter is key to most online businesses. It’s an easy way to build your ecosystem direct to your audience with no algorithms getting in the way. Then you simply share your knowledge and your story to build trust.
Leading offers are mid-ticket items. For example, it could be a $100 short course on a topic where you are an authority.
Finally is the Hero Offer, the high ticket item that offers the best transformation through something like a $3-5k 1:1 coaching program.
The main problem with online business is that no one knows you or trusts you. That’s why the offer stack is critical. You get people in the door through freebies and then build them up over time with leading offers until, one day, they are ready for your hero offer.
If you built an offer stack, what would it be? Spend 15 minutes outlining your freebie, leading offer and hero offer on paper.
The trick is to start with your Hero Offer (what you ultimately want to sell), then work backwards to reverse engineer the ideal stack.
You will iterate your offers, and they will evolve over time.
So don’t get too hung up. Just start!
Daily posting on Twitter
Last week I mentioned how I was exploring Twitter and becoming more active.
I’m challenging myself to post daily. I keep hearing this from mentors as the ultimate force multiplier – it improves your writing, thinking, learning, and idea generation. You build a network and audience along the way.
Thankfully it’s easy to post daily there as it’s text-based—no editing videos or photoshopping fancy images.
Social media is not your job
I was spending too much time across various social media platforms. I started dabbling in the video platforms, but it quickly became overwhelming. So am narrowing my focus to mainly “writing” on Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram. I’m still figuring out the main one I double down on.
I’m not overthinking content. I just break down my newsletters into content pieces. It’s best to have some depth behind your content. People pick up on that.
YOU should create a newsletter – explore your interests more deeply and bring THE RIGHT people along for the ride. As the online world is evolving, that audience will give you leverage in the new economy.
But I found posting all the content becomes a job in itself and a massive distraction every time you go on the newsfeed. So I have started experimenting with Buffer to schedule some posts so that I don’t have to actually “go on” social media daily. Buffer is free for up to 3 platform accounts, so it works within my current scheduling plan (IG, TW, LI).
But the next thing I am learning is the power of engagement, mainly commenting. But I’ll save that for another time.
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It would be great to have you on board!
Cheers!
