MCC #58 – 02 Jun 2023

Welcome to My Creative Calling!

We’re continuing with part three of my Steve Jobs series for creators:

1. The creator journey 
2. A creative business you love
3. Death as a motivator

Let’s get into it:

The scariest certainty of life

Ben Franklin famously said the only certainties in life were “death and taxes”.

I can handle taxes.

They pay for the roads we drive and improve our community support systems. 

But death is the great unknown.

And that makes it scary.

We don’t want our life to end. 

We don’t want to leave our loved ones behind. Even those annoying colleagues we complain about. 

We don’t want to let go of everything we built. And all that junk you have been hoarding. 

We still have many unchecked items on our bucket list. Will I ever see the Northern Lights?

But there is no escape.

Technology hasn’t saved us yet.

It’s a certainty. 

We’re all going to die.

Yep.

Today is a morbid issue.

Just kidding.

As always, there will be an uplifting, positive spin.

Except, yes, we are going to die.

But…

Death is a powerful motivator to fuel our most outstanding work.

The fact that we will die someday should trigger some sense of urgency to do something meaningful.

Unless you are a nihilist and believe life is meaningless.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. 

Victor Frankl

But who wants to be a nihilist?

And since most of what I write about here is pursuing a more creative, meaningful life, I will assume you’re not that way inclined.

No, you want to get more out of your one precious life. 

The Death Paradox

Know your death in order to truly live your life.

Memento Mori is a Stoic reminder of the certainty and inescapability of death.

It is not intended to be morbid; rather, to clarify, illuminate, and inspire.

Death is inevitable. Live while you’re alive.

Sahil Bloom

The Stoics wrote about this ~2,000 years ago. They had a phrase, Memento Mori — translated to “remember that you will die”. 

The Roman Emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote in his journal:

You could leave life right now.

Let that determine what you do and say and think.

Marcus Aurelius

He was basically the king of the world back then. Still, he recognised his impending doom and acted according to his values. 

It’s a great reminder not to wait for someday, which we all know never comes.

No, we should act NOW if something is truly important to us.

That creative calling?

Now is the time to get moving.

What about a modern example here?

Well, Steve Jobs was a man who lived by this philosophy.

He had a knack for inspirational words:

We’re here to put a dent in the universe.

Otherwise why else even be here?

Steve had a big vision.

He moved fast on that vision — co-founding Apple, a company that shaped the modern world.

And lucky he did get cracking.

As tragically, his life was cut short at age 56.

One of Earth’s most impactful and successful people was dealt a terrible blow — a rare form of pancreatic cancer.

He was at the top of his game, running what became the world’s most valuable publicly traded company. 

But sadly, he was taken from the world. 

It just goes to show that anyone, regardless of social status, can be caught off guard by the dreadful news that shocks them to the core. 

You finally get around to that routine health check-up, which leads to a scan. 

And suddenly, life as you know it is changed in an instant.

Would you be happy with your life so far and what you have achieved?

We don’t know how much time we have.

Sure, we plan to live to our golden years and enjoy a nice retirement.

But guess what? There are no guarantees.

You may have less time than you think. 

I love this wake-up call blog post from Tim Urban, which visualises the average human lifespan in weeks.

And in this post, he applies it to how many more opportunities to do the things we love.

Some eye-opening examples:

• Tim says he swims in the ocean maybe once a year. So he calculates he might only go into the sea 60 more times before he dies.
• We often think we can read all the books in the world. But Tim reads 5 books a year on average. So he only has about 300 books to read in his lifetime. Choose them wisely!
• He eats pizza once a month. So he only has 700 more chances to eat pizza. This is a devastating thought as someone who loves pizza!

But this was the most challenging one for me:

I live an 8-hour drive away from my parents. I make a few trips to see them yearly, and they make a few trips back to see me. So let’s say we see each other 6 times a year. 

My parents are in their 70s, so let’s say we get 20 more years together. That means I will probably see my parents only 120 more times.

That sounds like a shockingly low number!

And obviously, we may not be so lucky to reach those 20 years.

So I shouldn’t take them for granted. 

I have also become more sentimental in this area since the birth of my son.

The first year has flown by!

I can’t really explain it, but there is something special about time with little kids. I think because they are so cute and precious, but time flies by as you juggle the demands of new parenthood, career and fighting to pay the bills. 

I once heard Jordan Peterson capture those feelings here:

When you have a baby, you can’t believe it. 

And you can’t believe that you’re going to be able to figure out what to do with this thing.

It’s the most complicated thing you’ve ever had, and no one has helped you figure out how to do it. 

So you’re stuck. 

And then, three months later, it’s like, you can’t really imagine what life would be like without that baby. 

And then it’s sort of like, this goes on forever. 

That’s how it feels, but it doesn’t. 

You have little kids for four years. 

And if you miss it, it’s done. 

That’s it. 

So you got to know that.

You know, lots of things in life, you don’t get to do more than once. 

Now, obviously, you can have more than one child but all I’m saying is that period between zero and four, zero and five, there’s something about it. 

It’s like a peak experience in life. And it isn’t much of your life. 

You know, because you think of it as a long time. 

It’s not that long, man. Four years goes by so fast. You can’t believe it. 

And if you miss it, it’s gone. 

So you miss it at your peril, and you don’t get it back.

My dad told me recently that he feels like he is getting a second chance with the grandkids. He has more stress-free time with them. But when my siblings and I were kids, he was flat-out working hard to provide a good living for us. 

But already, I feel like I haven’t appreciated this beautiful moment enough.

Before I know it, it will be my son’s 21^st birthday, and I will be rambling some awkward speech filled with dad jokes.

These words from Sahil Bloom resonated with me:

Last summer I was on a walk with my newborn son and an older man approached me.

He said: “I remember standing here with my newborn daughter. An old man came up to me and said ‘It goes by fast, cherish it.’ Well, my daughter is 45 now. It goes by fast, cherish it.”

It hit me hard.

The next morning, I had my son in bed and felt a profound sensation: for the first time in my life, I had enough.

He warned us not to let the quest for more distract us from the beauty of having enough.

So why not start treating each day like it matters?

And prioritise what matters.

Spend quality time with loved ones.

Pursue interesting work.

Make an impact.

Go on adventures.

Look after yourself.

Enjoy the simple, “boring” everyday things.

As one day, they will be no more.

So make the most of the hand you have been dealt.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game. 

Randy Pausch

Make a dent in the universe. 

Alrighty then, let’s get back to Steve.

What I Learned From Steve Jobs Part 3: Death As A Motivator

Inspired by reading Make Something Wonderful: Steve Jobs in his own words.

Make the most of your brief time on Earth

Steve once told a group of students, “You appear, have a chance to blaze in the sky, then you disappear.” 

He gave an extra­ordinary amount of thought to how best to use our fleeting time. 

He was compelled by the notion of being part of the arc of human existence, animated by the thought that he—or that any of us—might elevate or expedite human progress.

Laurene Powell Jobs

Our lives are incredibly short when you think about it.

Sure, it may seem long while you are waiting in line for a doctor’s appointment.

But really, it goes by so fast, like the blink of an eye.

They say the days are long, but the years are short.

We waste so much of our precious time.

We frivolously live like we have forever.

It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.

Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested.

But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realise that it has passed away before we knew it was passing.

So it is: we are not given a short life, but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it…

Life is long if you know how to use it.

Seneca

So why not do work that matters in that incredibly brief time?

We’re here one day. 

The next, we are not.

Death is a motivator

Steve spoke multiple times about how he was motivated by the fact that he would die someday. 

These recorded words became even more potent after he was sadly taken away early in life. 

Here are three ways to use death as a motivator:

1.     Remember: I’ll be dead soon

Let go of all those self-imposed limitations and hang-ups on what people will think of you.

You and those you may judge you will all be dead soon.

So you may as well trust your intuition and follow your heart anyway.

The most important thing I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices is to remember that I’ll be dead soon.

I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s true.

And when I remember this, I realise that all of the expectations and standards and restrictions of others and society mean nothing in the end.

I realise that I have nothing to lose by following my heart and intuition, even if I embarrass myself or fail in the eyes of others.

Because I’ll be dead soon.

And I realise that I don’t have forever to decide to find what my intuition tells me is waiting out there for me.

Steve Jobs

2.     If today was your last day, would you do what you are about to do?

Often we drift off the path of meaning and happiness. 

This was me in my accounting career. 

I didn’t wake up on too many days looking forward to the day ahead. 

It was dreadful.

So don’t accept it. 

Change it.

When I was 17, I read a quote that said something like, “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

And since I was 17, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself “If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”

And when the answer has been “NO” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something in my life.

Steve Jobs

3.     Your life is a story, and you are the hero

Visualise yourself as the hero in your story.

What would the hero do?

Would they be doing what you do now?

It may help to channel the hero spirit of someone in real life or from your favourite movie or book.

Who is your hero?

What is something you haven’t done yet, that would make an epic life story for you?

Another way to think about this is that your life is a story.

It’s hard to see it that way when you’re looking forward at 22.

But imagine yourself as an old person looking back on your life.

Your life will be a story.

It will be your story, with its highs and lows, its heroes and villains, its forks in the road that mean everything.

And if you can remember that your life is a story in the making, it will help you make those important decisions.

When you have to decide between taking the prestigious job that pays well, or the offbeat job with no future that makes your heart sing, just imagine yourself looking back on your life in 50 years and you’ll know what path is yours.

You will give yourself the right advice.

You will intuitively know if something is part of your story or not.

Steve Jobs

You can’t plan to meet the people who will change your life

Steve arrived for a talk at Stanford business school. He wasn’t feeling well and had to rush off to dinner after with important customers.

You know that anxious feeling.

The last thing you feel like doing is getting on stage.

The small presentation room was overcrowded, and people were being evicted. 

So a girl quickly sat down in one of the seats at the front reserved for Steve and his entourage.

Steve sat down in his seat and was caught by her beauty next to him.

I think she was stunned when it was me that got up to speak.

And I knew something was up when I was staring at her, forgetting what I was talking about mid-sentence.

After my talk, I stayed around to speak with some students, and she stayed too.

But then she left.

I didn’t know who she was, and thought I might never see her again.

So I wound things up and left too, and I caught up with her in the parking lot.

I asked her if she would have dinner with me on Saturday.

She said yes and gave me her phone number. 

As I was walking to my car, I asked myself:

“If this was the last day of my life, would I rather have dinner with the important customers or her?”

I raced back to her car, just as she was about to drive off, and asked her “How about dinner tonight?”

She said: “Sure,” and we were married 18 months later.

Steve Jobs

I found this point fascinating.

As it reminded me of how I met my wife.

Remember back before dating apps were a thing?

Well, you had to go out and meet people in the community.

Lovers don’t just magically turn up on your doorstep.

So as a young‘un, I used to go out to bars and clubs on the weekend.

And this one night in a seedy, underground electro club, a sweet girl tapped me on the shoulder and said hello.

Little did I know then this moment would change my life.

As she went on to become my wife.

And the mother of my son.

I later learned her friend had pushed her to say hi to me.

This struck me as if I wasn’t in that club, lining up for a drink at that moment, or if her friend had not encouraged her, my life would be different!

So as Steve said, you can’t “plan” the people who will change your life.

You need to be open to experience and roll with serendipity.

As who knows where things may lead!

Few regrets  

People hate the idea of dying with a bunch of regrets.

Nothing is more annoying than those “coulda, shoulda, woulda” people.

You know, the ones to endlessly moan about all the projects they will do, but then never do them. And then they complain about why they could not do them.

You don’t want to become them.

They suck.

No, you want to do the things you know you should do.

Take action!

So what are the main regrets people have?

Well, there is a book on this, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care and spent much time with the dying. She uncovered these common regrets:

Regret 1: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

Regret 2: I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

Regret 3: I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

Regret 4: I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends

Regret 5: I wish I had let myself be happier

I’ve written at length on my change of focus from avoiding risk to minimising regret.

I eventually realised that playing it safe wasn’t serving me in the long run.

I would be left on my deathbed, regretting everything I was too scared to do.

Being a creator was one of those things I wanted to do. But fear was getting in the way.

So I just started and embraced those awkward feelings.

We quickly move beyond them and onto greener pastures. 

Now, as you live your arc across the sky, you want to have as few regrets as possible.

Remember, regrets are different from mistakes.

Mistakes are those things that you did and wish you could do over again… Some mistakes are deep, others not. But if your intent was pure, they are almost always enriching in some way.

So mistakes are things that you did and wish you could do over again. 

Regrets are most often things you didn’t do, and wish you did.

Steve Jobs

Reflection

• What insights or realisations arise for you after reading this letter?
  
• What upcoming highlights do you visualise for the hero in your life story?
  
• Make a list of the things you will regret on your deathbed if you don’t do them.
  
• What is your current life path costing you?
  
• Are there actions you should begin taking to avoid those regrets?

A quote to ponder

The journey is the reward

People think that you’ve made it when you’ve gotten to the end of the rainbow and got the pot of gold. 

But they’re wrong. 

The reward is in the crossing the rainbow. 

That’s easy for me to say—I got the pot of gold (literally). 

But if you get to the pot of gold, you already know that that’s not the reward, and you go looking for another rainbow to cross.

Think of your life as a rainbow arcing across the horizon of this world. 

You appear, have a chance to blaze in the sky, then you disappear.

Steve Jobs

What happened this week 

I’ve been away in Sydney for the last week. Beautiful city!

We didn’t even realise it was the Vivid lights festival until we arrived. So that was a nice bonus — see the photo below!

Final thoughts 

Today’s writing background music was Susan Cain’s Bittersweet Playlist on Spotify.

If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with a friend, and if you haven’t already, sign up here.

It would be great to have you on board!

Cheers!

Matt K. Head