Read time: 6 minutes
MCC #71 – 01 Sep 2023
Welcome to My Creative Calling!
I didn’t have an answer.
His question stumped me.
Why did I feel this sense of shame around the path I had chosen?
On the one hand, I should be ecstatic. I get to wake up every day and pursue meaningful work that excites me.
But on the other hand, something felt off, like I was in the wrong.
Have you felt this?
Guilt on the path
Do you feel a strange sense of guilt about your chosen path? Or the path you would like to choose?
It’s a sign of how deeply ingrained the industrial beliefs on work are.
But times have changed.
We no longer need to be chained to the desk, pumping out meaningless work that eats away at our souls.
No, we now have more opportunities than ever to do work that matters.
Work that lights us up.
Work that has an impact.
Work that challenges us and pushes us to grow into better humans.
So why can’t we shake this pesky feeling that we are somehow in the wrong for doing something aligned with our values?
Part of it comes back to the money piece.
Others can’t understand wanting to take a pay cut to pursue something fulfilling.
They are hooked on that gravy train.
They have become accustomed to a comfortable way of living with nice things, expensive toys and grandiose holidays.
But you know that I have realised as I get older?’
You don’t need much to be happy
All it takes for me is:
- Keeping good health
- Meaningful work to pursue
- Quality time with family and friends
- Freedom over time to explore my interests
And you know what is shocking to realise?
To meet that, you don’t need all that much.
I can’t believe how happy I am when I wake up, play with my son, write, hike with my dog, coach my clients, have dinner with my wife, and then read a good book before bed. I feel complete. When I write it now, it sounds too simple. But it’s true!
But social media tells us otherwise. It thinks we need:
- The beach house
- The Lamborghini
- The private jet
- The yacht
And then we will be happy.
BS!
Actually, the beach house would be nice 😉
Haha, but seriously.
What we are told about “success” is all wrong.
I’ve listened to enough podcasts of super-successful people now to know that NONE of that stuff will make you happy.
In fact, it often makes you more unhappy.
I heard a podcast today where an ex-boss at Google was saying how he went and bought a different colour Ferrari because the first one didn’t make him happy. And do you think the second one did? No!
So again:
Why do we feel bad for taking a (temporary) pay cut to pursue an authentic and purposeful life?
I didn’t have a clear answer until recently about how I could get around this when explaining to people who don’t get it.
But now I do.
A moment of insight
Back to the opening conversation.
I was on a call with two creator friends who were kickstarting their new business venture.
Great conversation.
When I hit a mental roadblock around explaining my new career choice, one of the guys gently reminded me of a concept I had not thought about in a while:
“Matt, there are two kinds of motivation — intrinsic and extrinsic,” he started.
Oh yes! I remember this well.
Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation
Extrinsic motivation occurs when an individual is driven by external influences.
These can be either rewarding (money, good grades, fame, etc.) or punishing (threat of punishment, pain, etc.)
Wikipedia
Most of my accounting career was driven by extrinsic motivation — it was all about climbing that ladder for status, approval and a higher salary.
And this does make you happy for some time.
Until it doesn’t.
Then life freaking sucks!
You see, once you reach a base level of comfort where you have food and a roof over your head, you start to crave other things. And these other things are driven internally:
Intrinsic motivation exists within the individual and is driven by satisfying internal rewards rather than relying on external pressures or extrinsic rewards.
It involves an interest in or enjoyment of the activity itself.
For instance, an athlete may enjoy playing football for the experience, rather than for an award.
Activities involving their own inherent reward provide motivation that is not dependent on external rewards.
Pursuing challenges and goals comes easier and is more enjoyable when one is intrinsically motivated to complete a certain objective; for example, because the individual is more interested in learning, rather than achieving the goal.
Wikipedia
That’s when it hit me that I was now playing a different game to those people.
I was no longer playing corporate status games or stubbornly pushing on with work I hated just for money. No, I was following that internal drive.
The work I do now is inherently rewarding — it’s interesting, enjoyable and satisfying.
And that is unbeatable!
It’s an infinite game.
And so I explained to that guy on the call:
“I wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. In fact, you couldn’t pay me to do something else. I get so much out of this that it’s worth more than what can be quantified in money.”
Again, I still couldn’t explain it very well.
Luckily, my wise friend came to the rescue again, as he explained:
“There are four parts to intrinsic motivation: autonomy, mastery, purpose and community.”
He hit the nail on the head!
That’s why this path I am on is so powerful, because it hits all four of those domains:
Autonomy
I have complete control over my time and schedule, except when my baby son takes over! It’s tremendously liberating to be able to work on what you want to work on and when you want to work on it.
Mastery
It feels good to be on the path to mastery. It’s the growth mindset in action as you are driven to keep learning and honing your craft. You feel more confident and empowered as you improve at what you do and develop your skills daily.
Purpose
There is no greater driving force than when you tap into a sense of purpose. I didn’t have this for the first 15 years of my career. And that is why I felt lost. I was drifting. But now I have that purpose, and it all comes out of my story of suffering. Since finding my path and returning to my creative roots, I’m on a mission to help people find meaning and fulfilment through creating what calls them.
Community
I never felt like I had a tribe. I was different to everyone else and couldn’t fit in locally. In accounting, I was shunned for my creative aspirations. “Keep in line,” the firm partners would say. But now, I am a part of a thriving online community that supports my dreams and pushes me to overcome obstacles. And it goes both ways — you get a massive kick of joy from helping your peers through their struggles and cheering on their successes.
So now I have clarity.
Now I have confidence.
I will no longer feel guilty for being happy.
I will no longer be plagued by that insecure feeling of not keeping up in the status games of extrinsic rewards.
No, I am now playing a bigger game.
It’s an infinite game.
With infinite rewards.
And so now I tip my hat to you, and ask:
What game are you playing?
And is it the game you want to be playing?
Reflection
What is your driving force at this time
- Is it external rewards?
- Or internal rewards?
How could you start to cultivate more intrinsic motivation?
- Autonomy
- Mastery
- Purpose
- Community
Get in touch if you would like some help with that.
A quote to ponder
It seems that the world is getting it.
We are not supposed to be grinding ourselves and giving away our lives for things that we think are gonna make us happy.
We might as well be happy and get everything as a result.
Because we can then be successful, we can be engaged, we can be loveable, we can be supported, and so on…
Mo Gawdat
What happened this week
YouTube & Podcast
Give Yourself Permission To Be Creative
Poetry & Purpose
First Touch
“I pulled myself together,
focus,
focus,
focus.
I realised now
this was my first job
as a father.”
Final thoughts
Today’s writing background music playlist was Random Access Memories by Daft Punk on Spotify.
I hope you enjoyed this letter, please share it with a friend.
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It would be great to have you on board!
Cheers!
Matt K. Head
When you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:
Coaching
- Find more meaning and fulfilment in your work
- Gain clarity and start taking action on your creative journey
