“With that privilege (of being different) comes a very sincere temptation to hold back who we are. 

And if we hold back who we are, we are less likely to be trusted.

And if we are less likely to be trusted, we are less likely to be given stretch assignments. 

And without those stretch assignments, we are less likely to get promoted. 

And so on, and so on.” 

Frances Frei

Authenticity and trust

Authenticity is a crucial ingredient for building trust. Humans have a great “B.S. detector” and can quite easily sense when something isn’t right. The instinct isn’t to trust when something feels off.

The problem is that we live in a society where often we are shamed out of being our authentic selves. In many work-places, there is pressure to conform.

Pressure to “fit in”

I know from experience, we are asked to “fit in” with the company culture, dress a certain way, and keep up appearances. All seems fair for a pleasant work-place on the surface level, but what is bubbling away underneath? It could be contributing to the lack of trust in many organisations.

If you are encouraged not to bring your full self to work, then who are you? How do you be authentic? How do you build trust with others when you don’t feel like yourself?

Leadership and trust

Frances Frei covers this topic in her TED talk How to build (and rebuild) trust. Leaders need to create a space where people feel safe to be authentic, where differences are celebrated, and let people bring the best versions of themselves to work.

Reflection

• Do I feel like my authentic self at work?
• How is it holding me back?
• What is one thing I can do today to feel more authentic around others?