Welcome to “The Looking Glass”, a weekly newsletter of timeless wisdom for you to ponder on your journey of growth. I hope you find great value here.
#24 – 07 Oct 2022
Hello friend,
Thanks again for being here!
Here’s an insight, a question, and a quote I reflected on over the last week.
💡 Growing tired of yourself
I was listening to the poet David Whyte (one of my “virtual mentors”) speaking on how we inevitably enter a period of silence as one stage of our lives comes to an end, and we aren’t quite ready to venture into the next stage.
David was riffing on his example of being in your late-thirties, and suddenly you realise they are coming to an end, but you still cling to that energy and power you had in your thirty-year-old body. He says this is an invitation into quiet, to understand that you’re at the very edges of where your body meets the world, and you are about to step into unchartered territory.
But we feel stuck as we still hold the same ambitions, mindsets, plans, and thought patterns from that last period.
I can relate to these thoughts, as I feel stuck in my own ways while “Crossing the Unknown Sea” and transitioning from my adventurous youth to becoming a father and embarking on a new career journey.
On the one hand, it is tremendously exciting but also quite scary!
“Quite often, those who live with us, are tired of us a long time before we get tired of ourselves.”
David Whyte
David’s insight that struck me here is that, during these transition phases, we often get tired of ourselves. After repeated missteps, we get sick of our own “B.S.”
- You feel misaligned.
- You disappoint yourself with actions
- You let others down
As frustrating as this is, it’s actually a breakthrough and a key milestone in moving to the next phase.
The lesson here is to embrace the ways I feel fed up with myself, and face the necessary change, rather than clinging to the way things were.
The main clue for me – my wife was growing tired of me complaining about the circumstances I chose to be in (as per David’s quote above – she was growing tired before I realised the problem).
We can adjust course to move past the stuck-ness by paying attention to these signs.
Think of it as shedding a skin.
So cheers to growing “tired of ourselves” and no longer avoiding that brighter future.
❔ Your tribe of mentors
I saw this from Dan Koe during the week:
“Have a “Tribe of Mentors” – consume content from people you enjoy.”
Do you have a tribe of mentors?
I first heard this term through Tim Ferriss’ popular book “Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice From The Best In The World.”
Obviously, through Tim’s success as an author, investor, and podcaster, he has access to some of the best and brightest minds in the world.
In 2017 Tim sadly had a few friends pass away within a relatively short period. This was a wake-up call for him that life is short, we really don’t know how much time we have, so we may as well make the most of it.
Tim had a mini-existential crisis and began asking himself many questions:
Were my goals my own, or simply what I thought I should want
How much of life had I missed from underplanning or overplanning?
How could I be kinder to myself?
How could I better say ‘no’ to the trivial many to better say ‘yes’ to the critical few?
How could I best reassess my priorities and my purpose in this world?
This is why I love Tim so much. He is inquisitive and generous. He reached out to his impressive network, with questions designed to elicit practical life advice to get unstuck and find success, and he neatly packaged it into a book, so we could all enjoy it.
As great as Tim’s book is, we may want to go deeper on some of this, but we might feel that we don’t have such a network of world-class performers.
But yes, you do! You can create a network of virtual mentors. We live in such a prosperous time with access to books, podcasts, YouTube, and online courses. You can almost deep dive on any topic with any mentor, and almost for free with most of it! It’s important who you surround yourself with.
JK Molina posted this on Linkedin during the week, which neatly ties in with this tribe of mentors concept:
“Strategy that has worked for me:
1. Find 1-3 exceptional entreprenuers.
2. Mute everyone else
3. Just do everything they say.
See where you end up in a year.”
This is powerful.
But many aren’t disciplined enough to commit to something like this.
What I like about it is it forces us to:
- Reckon with what genuinely interests us (something we often avoid due to fearing what we might find)
- Cut out the noise (which is excellent as it simplifies future decision-making)
- Take action (moving past procrastination/overwhelm by following someone’s method and adopting to our circumstances)
Build your tribe of mentors.
Think of it as a personal board of directors.
Who could be your 3-5 virtual mentors for the next year?
Who could help you make the most impact on the goals you would like to achieve?
Choose carefully.
This decision could just change your life!
💬 A quote to ponder – On how to know if you’re on “The Path”
“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”
Joseph Campbell
This quote hits home, and it revitalised me at a low point. I’ve been on a massive career experiment for the last year or so as I dipped my toes into “online business”.
I sometimes feel lost, confused, overwhelmed, and like people don’t get me. But I can feel a certain north star pulling me along to where I need to go, and I feel like I have grown so much and come so far. So I press on through the struggle.
What happened this week
Podcast notes
I love listening to podcasts. Particularly long-from interview ones, that go deep!
I’m one of those (silly?) people who hits pause every two minutes so that I can take notes. It ruins the listening experience, and episodes take twice as long, so I don’t recommend it, but I end up with some cool notes to reflect on afterwards.
Rather than selfishly holding these insights in my personal knowledge bank, I thought I would start sharing them as blog posts. My first “podcast notes” article dropped this week – 14 things I learned from Reid Hoffman that can help you make better career decisions. Please let me know if you find these helpful (or not).
I started actively using Linkedin in the last couple of weeks (after having a mostly dormant account for 10+ years).
I will devote a couple of blocks a week to thoughtfully engage with other people’s posts.
If you’re over there, I would love to connect!
Cheers!
