“No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.”
Alan Watts
Anxiety has a habit of creeping in. It might start slowly, but soon we are caught up in a vicious loop of worry and stress. The pressures of life and work overwhelm us.
You have a big project due. You get anxious.
You are waiting for the results. You get anxious.
You move onto the next project. You get anxious.
Some stress can be helpful to give us the motivation to work hard and do a good job. After all, it shows that we care about the result. But there comes a point where all this worry is not productive at all. We become paralysed.
A Question
One thing I have found to break me out of the anxiety cycle is to ask the question – is it helping?
I soon realise that it’s not helping. It’s not improving project or the results. It’s just making me miserable.
Control
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle. Some things are within your control. And some things are not.
Epictetus
It’s a fact that some things are outside our control. The sooner we come to terms with that, the sooner we can be at peace and move on.
This has also helped me through those tough situations. Once I realise that something is totally outside my control, then what is the point in worrying about it?
RAIN
If appealing to your rational self doesn’t help the situation, then maybe a more compassionate approach like meditation can open up those doors that are otherwise closed.
I particularly like Tara Brach’s RAIN meditation to find some calm in the madness.
Tara has a simple four-step practice which is a powerful tool for releasing the grip of painful emotions. RAIN stands for the following:
- Recognise
- Allow
- Investigate
- Nurture
Summary
These are the tools I have found helpful for anxiety:
- Some Questions:
– Is the anxiety helping the situation? Recognise the unproductive nature of the cycle.
– Am I worrying about things outside my control? If so, then why worry.
2. Meditate – take a time out for ten minutes and reflect on the following:
- Recognise – what is going inside you – the anxious feelings.
- Allow – breath and let it be. Don’t try to “fix” anything or judge it.
- Investigate – direct your attention to the feelings in your body. Ask the anxious part of you – “What it is worried about? What does it need right now?”
- Nurture – send a gentle message inward to your anxiety – “It’s ok, you’ll be alright. We’ve been through this before.”
It triggers a change in the body. I quote Tara of her response to a RAIN meditation:
“I could feel a warm, comforting energy spreading through my body. There was a distinct shift: My heart softened a bit, my shoulders relaxed, and my mind felt more clear and open.”
It only takes a few minutes, but it can make a big difference.
