The Looking Glass is a weekly newsletter of timeless wisdom for you to ponder on your journey of growth. I hope you find great value here.
#11 – 8 Jul 2022
Hello friends,
Thanks again for being here!
Here’s an insight, a question, and a quote I reflected on over the last week.
💡 Before you tear them down
Sometimes our emotions get the better of us. And before we know it, we are angrily “speaking our mind” to our partner, peer or subordinate. We can be overly critical and harsh, which we justify in service of a higher power or standard of quality, but the results can be damaging and sometimes even catastrophic.
These outbursts are particularly harmful when we cut someone down after showing a sense of passion or enthusiasm in their work.
Once you beat that sense of excitement out of someone, it can be difficult to recover.
And that may be a problem in your future relationship and shared successes.
Tread carefully when playing with someone’s sense of enthusiasm. See the greater good. This project will pass, and you will need the person’s support in the future.
❔ You may be surprised by the disengaged
Continuing on the theme from above, if you have already gone too far, or you have what seems to be a disinterested team member, I pair this dilemma with an idea from the charming book The Art of Possibility by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander:
“The lesson I learned is that the player who looks least engaged may be the most committed member of the group. A cynic, after all, is a passionate person who does not want to be disappointed again.”
Benjamin Zander
That bombshell insight bears repeating: the player who looks least engaged may be the most committed member of the group.
We often quickly write people off (usually those with different personality types or values) as disengaged and underperformers. What if they are the most committed to the relationship/team/project/organisation, but they have had the passion beat out of them, maybe through poor leadership or frustrating team members. They have lost hope and become cynical.
The challenge for us as leaders is restoring enthusiasm. Can we help re-light their fire?
Benjamin Zander’s learning from his scenario was:
“The secret is not to speak to a person’s cynicism, but to speak to her passion.”
This key takeaway leads us to today’s question(s):
Reflect on some of your recent conversations. Would you say you generally speak to your partner or colleagues’ sense of cynicism or passion?
If necessary, how could you start to tilt this in the opposite direction?
💬 A Quote to Ponder – On really knowing
“To learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.”
Stephen R. Covey
Cheers!
