The Looking Glass is a weekly newsletter of timeless wisdom for you to ponder on your journey of growth. I hope you find great value here.
#13 – 22 Jul 2022
Hello friends,
Thanks again for being here!
Here’s an insight, a question, and a quote I reflected on over the last week.
💡 Speaking up in meetings
Do you feel comfortable speaking up in meetings? Or do you associate meetings with a sense of stress around speaking up?
I heard Susan Cain, who wrote the book Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking describes how introverts can find meetings challenging:
“If there is one topic I hear most from introverts, it’s the challenge of speaking up at meetings. How do you make your voice heard and your presence felt? How are you supposed to know what to say and when?”
In case you are wondering, what is an introvert? Pair with Being an introvert
You know those dreaded work meetings.
Maybe your inner dialogue goes something like this:
“Should I speak up?”
“No, I’ll wait.”
“You really should speak up. You never speak up.”
“Aww, ok. Today is the day.”
“Now… Oh damn, I got cut off by that loud person. He really should tone it down a bit. I can never get a word in. I’ll wait a bit longer….”
“Now… Wait, what am I going to say. Umm. Damn, missed another opportunity”
[Meeting closed]
“Ahh, I just thought of something good to say! But it’s too late.”
“You blew it. What is wrong with you? Just speak up!”
“Next time.”
Does that sound familiar? Maybe you are an introvert. The killer for me is when the meeting ends, and you finally think of something good to say!
As extroverts like to process thoughts and ideas out loud while talking, they often unknowingly but selfishly suck up all the space in the meeting. In contrast, introverts sit back, processing thoughts internally before they feel confident to voice them out loud.
The sad truth is that the meeting is often over before the introverts have a chance to contribute. This means that organisations often miss out on hearing some critical voices and opinions within the team.
How can we combat this?
The insight here is to recognise this fact and consciously speak up early in the meeting. Unfortunately for introverts, this is easier said than done and may require much effort and preparation beforehand. But it’s worth it. Otherwise, your valued contribution is left out of another meeting. What a loss for the team!
In my experience, this was really hard at first, but over time this “speaking up” became more natural and something I was comfortable with.
One final note, if you are an extrovert reading this, reflect on how you could create some “space” for those introverts to speak up.
❔When you say yes, what are you saying no to?
We get excited by all the cool things we want to do. Maybe you want to start a business, write a book, travel through South America, or spend more time with your friends or family.
The trouble is we often run off on this chain of excitement without unpacking the true costs of these projects we say yes to.
For example, if you want to start a business or write a book, they are both massive undertakings that chew up a lot of your time and resources. So you will probably find that eats into most of your time, and suddenly you don’t have the capacity for that trip to South America or those weekends with your family.
This might be a sacrifice you are willing to make in the grand scheme. Say it’s your lifelong dream to own a business, or you always wanted to be an author. But where it potentially becomes an issue is where you might actually value family or the adventure of travel more. In this case, it might hurt you more, in the long run, to say yes to that project.
So it’s essential first to get clear on what you value. What is important to you? And recognise that once you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to other things. Are you comfortable with the trade-off on those things?
So what does it really mean to say YES, and what are you comfortable saying NO to?
💬A Quote to Ponder – You don’t have to be “big” to make an impact
“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”
Anita Roddick
Cheers!
